Jason and I facilitate a small group on Sunday nights. It’s a wonderful time to do some Bible study, share with one another, laugh, support and eat. We are studying Daniel, the man, not the prophecy. The title of the lesson was “Let God Be God.” Well, as you can imagine, in the discussion, we shared how diabetes has forced us to let God be God. We don’t know the why, we don’t often know how exactly we are going to balance it all sometimes, but we aren’t God. Our job is to accept and then depend on God because He has a bigger, better plan and He provides the strength we need. I often get weepy when talking about Ryan in the context of God and where God is in all of it, and not always because I’m hurting, sometimes it’s simply because God has been good or something amazing has happened . . . the thankful tears. I know God is ever present and so very gracious and I know He holds Ryan in the palm of his hand. But Satan is real and strong and persistant and just fights us constantly. But God manages to bring a strong word or a friend or a hug or laughter when we need it the most.
So back to Sunday night . . . we were standing in the kitchen eating snacks. When Jeff began talking to Jason and me. He said that he had a friend who’s child was diagnosed with MS. He said that all he could think of with this other child and now with us and Ryan was the blind man in John 9:1-3:
As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man who had been blind from birth. Rabbi, his disciples asked him, “why was this man born blind? Was it because of his own sins or his parents’ sins?” “It was not because of his sins or his parents’ sins,” Jesus answered. “This happened so the power of God could be seen in him.”
I stood there for a moment, swallowing hard over and over, trying not to cry (for once). There was such a gentleness in Jeff as he was speaking to us. Jeff allowed himself to be used to minister to us. And I’m sure he has no idea the impact he made on us both last Sunday. I didn’t even say anything to him, just kinda moved on, because I knew the tears were gonna come. Jason and I talked about it that night. What peace and encouragment swept over us both. And I can’t help but wonder what will happen in Ryan’s life or who he will be or what he will do to show God’s power in his life, through his life, through this disease.