Embracing Life & the Child with the Disease

One of my dearest friends who has been super supportive of me since dx sent me an email last week with a question:  “[Church] is having a Craft-Expo where people are setting up tables to sell items or whatever to help the youth go on a missions trip. Call me crazy, but this morning on my way to work I was thinking about getting a booth and handing out information about juvie diabetes . . ” and asked if I would be interested in doing it with her.  Would I?!?  I would love to and it brought a huge lump in my throat and got me all glassy eyed that she would think of Ryan and the family and have a desire to do such a thing. 

Well, being the somewhat creative person I am, the wheels immediately started turning.  How were we going decorate, what would be an attention getter, would I make diabetic snacks to sell and attach recipes, would JDRF have information I could display and so on and so forth.  But the girl in me said, “What do I wear?”  I’ve looked around on cafepress.com or pumpwearinc.com and others and laughed and cried and wanted to buy them all.  But I actually broke down and bought one to wear for the fair.  It’s powder blue and simply says, “I wear gray for my son.”  The gray is the color of the “cure diabetes” ribbon, like the one I have display here on the left sidebar of my blog.  The shirt came in the mail yesterday.  Opened it up to make sure it was the one I ordered, read it, confirmed it was exactly what I wanted . . . and cried.  I couldn’t wait to get it, it was no surprise it was coming and will probably wear it before the fair.  But there was something new and startling about the fact that it was MY shirt talking about MY son.  Reality set in again and I was flooded with all those fears and heartache that I thought I’d moved past or moved along or learned to handle . . . not so much, I guess.  I wonder if that ever really passes. 

So, before I travel down that dark, emotional road again this morning, I will close with this . . . Ryan came home a few days ago and said, “I’m lucky to have diabetes.”  And I calmly asked, “Why?” (And I say calmly because it was a very conscious, controlled effort; I wanted to scream and holler that there’s nothing lucky about this disease!)  He replied with a grin and one dimple, “Because I get to have snacks at school every day when nobody else gets to.”  I grabbed him, loved  on him and kissed all over his face and said, “I’m lucky to have you!”

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Comments on: "A few tears yesterday . . . first time in awhile" (16)

  1. mary kruszynski said:

    Oh Amy…I love you

  2. Karen Crawford said:

    That is awesome and a GREAT idea. I love reading your blog and about what an awesome little boy you have. He is a special boy and Morgan just loves him. She asks me all the time to play with Ryan. Thank you for inspiring others through your writing. You have a true gift. Love and prayers to the whole family.

    • Karen, we are going to have to do some play dates! The kiddos would love it and it would give us time to chit chat a bit. Thanks for reading and encouraging and mostly for the prayers!

  3. Sue Burkowske said:

    Amy, you bless my heart every time I read your blog. Thank you

  4. It’ amazing how sometimes our kids adapt better than us! 🙂

  5. God only gives special children to special Moms! He was sooo right when he chose you and Ryan!

  6. i’ve got to meet this child of yours! i’ll call you & try to find out when we can do lunch/dinner this summer!

  7. Hey Amy. I had dinner with a guy and his family last night that was diagnosed with Diabetes at age 6. I was telling him about Ryan and he said he has adjusted really well with the whole thing. He wears a pump that gives him his insulin when he needs it. Anyways, just thought it was cool that he was diagnosed at such a young age also. Just thought I’d share that with you.

    • How cool is that about this guy!! I would love to connect with he and his wife simply for encouragment. Give him my blog address and tell him to drop me a line.

  8. Shayne Young said:

    What a cutie! I love his dimple!

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