Ryan has been obsessed with writing in cursive lately. The other day he was sitting at the kitchen table while I was cleaning and he was writing in cursive (connecting printed letters). He asked me to come read what he had written. I wish I had kept the sheet. When I walked over, I saw a single sentence on the page, “God gave me diabetes.” For a moment, I stood there in shock and literally said a prayer in my mind asking God for wisdom. After a long pause, I replied, “So what do you think about that?” He shrugged his shoulders very nonchalantly and said, “I guess if He gave it to me, He knew what he was doing.” And then he returned to writing in cursive.
I kissed him on the forehead, told him I loved him and went about doing what I was doing trying by best to keep my back to him as my eyes were welled up with tears.
I have done so much thinking about that statement and Ryan’s unquestioning acceptance. Oh to have that resolve, that submissive yielding to His will. And rather, this time, go into a lengthy dialogue about my faith and what I believe and who God is, I will only say this: I would rather Ryan grow up believing that God GAVE him diabetes and has a plan and a purpose for it all, than for him to believe that God stood idly by and allowed this to happen without any effort of prevention.
Like my friend, Kelly, said, life is like a cross-stitch where we only see the back that is a mess and doesn’t make sense, is chaotic and ugly. And God sees the front of the cross-stitch that is perfect and colorful, organized and beautiful.