Embracing Life & the Child with the Disease

Hurry Up and Wait!

Even Dr. Seuss talked about this most dreaded place in his book Oh the Places You’ll Go

You can get so confused

that you’ll start in to race

down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace

and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,

headed, I fear, toward a most useless place,

The Waiting Place . . . for people just waiting.

This is so how I feel at this stage of my life in so many areas.  But particularly with D.  We live a large metropolitan area here in Dallas.  Children’s Medical Center has us d-parents go through a grueling process to get our children on insulin pumps.  When I realized the process in May, I decided to start it knowing we were not quite ready for it yet.  But here we are now in November and I almost have the pump ordered . . . ALMOST!  Here’s our course schedule:

  • Our first class was a two-day crash course in the hospital, December 17-19. 
  • Then about eight weeks later in February, we were in our Diabetes 101 class which is a refresher and how to make all we had learned in the hospital make sense (as if D EVER makes sense!). 
  • Then I inquired about a pump at our endo appointment in May, called to get classes lined up for that and in AUGUST, I took a class called “Take Charge” about ratios and such, all of which I had already been doing.
  • In October, we took our “Pump it Up” class to give us the basics of pumping and introduce us to Medtronic, Animas and OmniPod. 
  • We had a week worth of Intensive Glucose Management homework and Pump Food Record.  We faxed it in and had to get approval from dietitian, CDE and Endo. 
  • In the meantime, we talked to all three pump companies to see what BCBS would or wouldn’t pay and get a realistic picture of the cost of pumping.
  • Today, I got approval from everyone at Children’s and called our pump company of choice to get them to fax Medical letter of necessity.
  • In a few days, I should be hearing from pump company about final costs and have the pump shipped. 
  • When we have the pump in hand, assuming by the end of next week, we call Children’s to schedule our pump class.

Here’s where the wait will come in AGAIN.  All of the November classes are full.  There is one class in December we could possibly still get in to IF we get our pump in time.  So maybe we will be pumping by January.  By that time, we will be 13 months into our dx. 

So, like I said, HURRY UP AND WAIT.

As much as I LOVE Dr. Seuss and that book (I nearly have every word memorized), I disagree with him in one point.  He called the Waiting Place “the most useless place . . . ”  I used to agree.  I agreed because I hated to wait.  I felt idle.  I felt useless.  I felt unproductive.  And I still feel all that most of the time in my waiting.  And I’m no more patient today disagreeing that was years ago when I agreed. 

But here’s my take on the waiting.  It’s a time to prepare, to rest, to make a plan, to renew.     

“Yet those who wait for the LORD
         Will gain new strength;
         They will mount up with wings like eagles,
         They will run and not get tired,
         They will walk and not become weary…”  

All though Scripture it talks about waiting on God . . . about being still and knowing He is God.  It’s not easy.  It’s not fun.  But it’s a part of life, for sure.  And there is always a reason for the waiting, a plan, a definite purpose.  Like I said a few days ago, we see the back-side of the cross-stitch; God sees the beautiful front side.  There is a specific course of action.  Maybe the waiting is simply just changing the color of the thread. 

So I say, as impatient as I have been, waiting on the pump is perhaps a good thing.  It has given time to be comfortable with diabetes care (although I am not a pro by far).  Waiting has let me tuck the first stomach bug under my belt with Ryan.  Waiting has made us all long for having the pump.  Waiting, in the long run, will perhaps help us mentally prepare for the learning curve of the change. 

So as much as I hate it, today I will try to be thankful for the waiting.


Comments on: "Hurry Up and Wait!" (7)

  1. Gosh, you are so PATIENT. I think I would have gone nuts waiting that long. AND. YES. I see the benefits of it for sure, but I am sure thankful that Joe went on the pump after only 3 months of shots. The pump allowed us more “flexibility” with his schedule and tighter control.

    Good luck, I cannot wait to read about your journey with the pump…and which one you go with etc. If you have any questions about the Animas Ping please feel free to ask. We love ours.

    • No, not patient, just don’t have a choice. I’m learning that if I can’t change my circumstances, I need to try to change my perspective.

      And had I had a choice, we would not still be waiting for a pump. I’m so ready for flexibility, but more than that, tighter control. I’m so tired of seeing 265-295 at 3am and being instructed NOT to give corrections because he wakes up at 6:30 in the low to mid-100s.

      So definitely NOT critical of those who get a pump very early in the game . . . had I had the choice, we would have been pumping for months now. 😉

  2. I’m so sorry you have to go through this.

    Once you start, hopefully this wait will just be a distant memory.

    I love all the blue changes on your site!

  3. It took me 15 months before I felt ready to even start the process….but….once I took that step and chose our pump, I felt like it just couldn’t get there fast enough!!!! She started pumping 18 months after dx. In the end, I REALLY feel like that was the right timing for our family. God is good….and, when Ryan finally slaps that baby on, it’ll the right time for him too!

  4. It WILL be worth the wait! Once you get it, you won’t look back! I’m glad you are on the path you need to be. Things will work out. They usually do in the end. 🙂

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