I have struggled to post all day.
I have nothing positive to say about D today. For over a week straight (and off and on for over a month now), we can’t get Ryan’s sugar down, no matter what we do. We have changed ratios, upped Lantus, altered diet, eaten more consistent in a schedule, and it’s either between 200-300 or we are treating a low. WHERE ARE HIS IN RANGE NUMBERS???
Not to mention we have an endo appointment in two weeks and if we keep at this rate, I won’t even share how awful it’s going to be. UGH!!!
But Jason has been home all day today. We have heard the boys laugh a lot. We packed three boxes tonight for Operation Christmas Child. Aaron told me he loved me FIRST today. Ryan showed us some new dance moves. And Ethan has made me feel old while listening to his mp3 player and singing while totally oblivious to my watching him. I guess there is life beyond D although on days like today, it’s just so hard not to be overwhelmed by it.
Currently, I am watching Ryan lie on the floor on his belly, pants pulled down just a bit exposing his bottom, Jason on one side with Lantus and Ethan on the other with Humalog (as I was typing, his bedtime number was 306, so he has to have sliding scale before bed). They are all three dying laughing. I have no earthly idea why. For the life of me, I can’t see the humor in it all tonight. But I am blessed to have boys who do.
I’ll “bounce” in the next day or so . . . just right now, it’s hard to keep in perspective that it’s just the “dark before the morning.” But I’m working on it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfWAG-bnttQ