Embracing Life & the Child with the Disease

Trust Issues?

I wanna pink polka dot sleep mask like this!

Does anyone, D-momma or adult T1er, every trust their nighttime basals enough to sleep?  I mean really sleep.  I mean an occasional, nothing-is-waking-me-up sleep?  Seriously.  Does anyone do this?

I’m at a place where I need sleep (as I suppose we all are).  A place where my family needs me to sleep and I’m just afraid to. 

I’m a wimp.

A wimp when it comes to sleep.  I LOVE sleep.  I NEED sleep.  There is nothing that says papering, vacation, spoiling, good-life more than an uninterrupted night’s sleep.   I need one occasionally.  One in my own bed.  Jason has taken me out overnight to a hotel about four times in the last six months or so just so I can sleep, and it’s been wonderful.  But it’s not the same as sleeping in your own bed. 

A wimp when it comes to trusting the basal rates I’ve set for Ryan too.  I just read Heidi’s post about a Dex alarm “falling on deaf ears.”  (And, Heidi, you are an AWESOME d-momma, no judgment here, just “get it” factor).  And I get that completely!  Just too tired, too deep in sleep, to hear the cgm alarm, or the Droid X alarm in my case, waking me up to check his bg.  I am comfortable with his basal rates.  I think they are the best for him right now.  He’s going to bed in a good range; he’s waking up in a good range.  And even when I have been checking at night, they have been good.  With the occasional mini correction because of elevated numbers, not correcting lows . . . which is the scary part at night, those darn lows!  But, he’s been good.

But what do you do?  We don’t have a cgm, which I know must help so much.  And it is next on my list of things to ask the endo in May (we’ve just been pumping since December).  I just know that when he was on Lantus, I seldom ever checked at night unless he went to bed out of range or there was an anticipated spike in numbers (like with pasta, etc). 

Am I being overly protective, too much of a worrier, glutten for punishment, making things harder than they need to be . . . or is this just “part of it?” Every night.  I guess I just need to know practically what you do.  What you really do.  So I can make some decisions here.  Who better to go to than those living the same?  I fear I already know this answer, but just reaching out for some real life what- you-do. 

On a side note:  For Ryan, I’d bypass a solid 8 hours for the rest of my life to keep him safe.  Just sayin’.

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Comments on: "Trust Issues?" (8)

  1. I have been sleepless for about 17 years. It started with my first born and all hopes of sleep faded with the diagnosis of my second child. I never trusted the insulin we used on MDI. I never trusted his body not to kick out insulin when honeymooning. I never trust the diabetes gods not to mess things up on the pump. We do not have a CGM either. I rely on the little voice that wakes me up each night. Sounds weird but I have made myself get out of bed at times other than normal only to find a low that came out of nowhere. You will try to sleep. You will learn to trust your gut. You will pray your child wakes for lows…and you will somehow learn to function on broken sleep. Hang in there!!

  2. Dave stays up to check at 11pm or MN every night. I check at 3am (or as a correction or low indicates) Monday thru Friday…Dave does the 3am Sat and Sun. Almost ALWAYS. It is what it is. With a growing active child it seems that his numbers aren’t really reliable thru the night. Dexcom is helpful, but I have to say it can also keep you up more … when you have an unreliable sensor…the sucker can be going off all night long.

    Hang in there. It does get easier. I sometimes wake up for the day at 3am…hence the “diarrhea of the fingers” on my blog – LOL. xoxo

  3. I think we all do this to some degree. I have nearly been up every night since October checking bg except for the occasional night out like you said. Monday I woke up saying “I think I can finally sleep through the night without checking”. However last night before I went to bed S was 125 and typically rising slightly through the night so I tried to sleep and resist the urge to check. This morning she was 62. So there goes that theory. I too feel I am in this endless cycle. We have been on the pump for two years and I have been able to have peace about the night time basals but right now it seems like forever ago. I hope you find peace soon and I will keep you and all of the other d moms in my thoughts and prayers.

  4. I check every night, regardless. Usually at 10:30/11pm before I go to bed and then again at around 2:30am. I have to admit, if we have a good sensor then I will sometimes just look at Dexie rather then doing a finger poke, depending on what her number is. I just can’t bring myself to sleep through that 2:30am check. The “what if” scares me a little too much. I don’t know when or if I will ever stop checking at 2am…..

  5. And here I was hoping that eventually one day when Natalie is on the pump (no plans for now) we will sleep through the night. She is on lantus and we have checked her every single night for the past 9 months. It has been just too unpredictable for us…one night she may go to bed really high and drop really low by the time we check….the next night she goes to bed a good # and goes up or stays the same. Her activity during the day effects her at night too I think. I really wish there was a solution to this, because without my sleep I am cranky, cry more, and just down about it all…today is one of those days.

  6. We check. 11 ish, the middle of the night depending on the number at 11ish.. then 6 ish… And we have a cgm! The cgm helps sooooo much! It has let me relax a litlte… But still… it’s just scary. I love sleep too. I fantasize about it… I day dream about it.. (Not dream because that means I’d be asleep!) I get it. You’re not a wimp. You just want to protect you kid. There is nothing wimpy about that!

  7. The last line of this post sums up my sentiments exactly: “For Ryan, I’d bypass a solid 8 hours for the rest of my life to keep him safe.”

    I’d much rather lose sleep than risk my child’s welfare.

    We’re still on MDI with Lantus, but we still check him.

    Thanks for mentioning me with a link! 🙂

  8. I always check at midnight…and, if things have been going well and look okay at that time, I’ll sleep knowing my husband will be up to check her at 5.

    Unfortunately, however, even if I do plan to sleep through, more often than not, I’m up anyway around 2:30…so I check.

    It’s very hard for me to konk out for a full night. I think my body has adapted.

    You aren’t a wimp, my friend.

    You’re just doing the best you can…and God will do the rest 🙂

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