In the DOC (diabetes online community) and particularly in my immediate sphere of influence, so much emphasis is placed on the d-mom. Simply because of the natural dynamics in a family, and because of our nurturing nature, we tend to often be the primary d-caregiver. That is NOT to minimize the role of dads in any way, shape or form. We mommas are helicopters, hovering over ALL our children, and often that hovering nature becomes bionically heightened when a child is sick or living with a 24/7 maintenance disease. If I were completely honest, I would have to say that it’s simply a matter of control (but who wants to be THAT honest?).
But today, because of circumstances just this week, because I found myself taking advantage of his PRESENCE in our family, I find it simply fitting to not only be thankful for the d-dad in our family, but also to brag on him for a bit.
For my readers who don’t “know” him, his name is Jason.
We have been married for 13 years. I am totally and completely in love with this man. He tolerates my moods, manages my high maintenance personality and has a dry, super sense of humor. He even planned a weekend away at the Westin at the Galleria when I was stressed about a million things and needed a break. He purse shopped with me all day and actually picked out and bought a pink Coach purse for me at weekends-end. He is a keeper. He is a Service Director at the largest VW dealership in North Texas. He is a worker. I do not say that lightly. And in the car business, he is honest and ETHICAL, which through the years has forced him to take the harder road, but God has blessed him for his integrity. Jason has always been an amazing daddy. On a regular basis my biggest complaint/gripe about Jason is that he gets the boys all riled up and out of control with the playing . . . like having a fourth oldest boy that I often end up mothering/disciplining. He’s the one who kicks three soccer balls over the fence hitting a neighbor’s house. He is the one that throws something in the living room and breaks a picture frame. He is the one goofing off upstairs and gets the boys giggling out of control when he was supposed to go and pray with the them because it’s bedtime. He loves to goof off with them, wrestle with them, talk to them, play with them. He is ever-present in their lives. But something often overlooked and missed is Jason’s role as a D-dad.
The dynamics of our home is traditional. He is the bread-winner. I am an at-home wife and mom. He has worked his way through and up the dealership chain from nearly the bottom up through management. I have a college degree. But even if I was utilizing my degree, I could never provide like he does. And he doesn’t have a passion for his job. He isn’t doing what he loves, like the professionals say to do, “Find a career doing what you love.” Ha! He has sarcastically chuckled to himself just now reading that. But he does what he does to provide. And he gives it his best.
And why do I mention the above? Because it matters as a d-dad in our family. That job that he is thankful for but does not necessarily love, the job that requires 60+ hours a week, the job that is exhausting and constantly full of upset customers and fixing problems . . . provides AMAZING INSURANCE. Now, granted, we pay a good chunk for it. But it allows us to provide diabetes supplies for Ryan at a fraction of the cost, no financial strain, no big sacrifice. And that alone is worthy of Thankful Thursday. But Jason is much more than a provider. He is a partner in this d-care.
There are moms that I know, single moms, that do this life alone. The sole parent actively engaged in d-care. For you (and I would list the ones I know but I know I would leave someone out), I applaud you. My heart goes out to you. I honestly pray for you. You are a hero by definition. It’s exhausting at best with counting carbs for EVERY bite and the night checks and the
sickness and supplies, etc. And ALL of you that I know have other children, non-d children as well and you are ALL amazing. And I also know moms that are married, but still do the d-care alone, for various reasons. You have my heart and prayers as well. Much love and hugs to you all.
But I am thankful for a husband that doesn’t just go to work 11 hours a day and come home and feel his job is done. Thankful for a husband who takes a pod change when he’s at home to do one. Thankful for a husband who one year and seven months into dx, he still wears a blue JDRF jelly bracelet every day for Ryan. Thankful for a husband that gets up and does a night check when I’m exhausted when basals are off or the day is off or diabetes is just being the beast that it is. I’m thankful to have a husband who listens to me talk basal changes or ratio changes out loud to make sure I’m making correct changes, or will talk through an inexplicable high or low to help me figure out what in the world is going on and comfort me when there is no explanation. I’m thankful for a husband who is patient and listens . . . holds me when I’m tired of it all . . . or when my heart breaks because Ryan is tired of it all . . . or when someone says something not so sensitive that again reminds me that MY child, OUR child is diseased. I am thankful that I don’t have to do all of this alone.
Jason, I love you. You are an amazing d-dad. And I wouldn’t change a thing about you. I am blessed.